could have
4:41:00 PM
I could have posted a blistering retort,but at what cost?
I could have stayed mad,
but what for?
Anger is stunning. It provokes emotions, actions and words otherwise incomprehensible. It beckons people to say things they don't mean, things they might regret. Anger encourages us not to think coherently. You know, this might be the reason why violence is prevalent in our society now. Volatile we have all become. The slightest of slights or the merest whimper of provocation sets us off. We no longer have benevolence.
Swirlings & whispers of discontent. I admit, i did react to it. It made me mad. I was imagining and utterly inclined to all sorts of sweet revenge. I AM privy to certain illicit secrets of which the owners wish they can keep buried for eternity. I can play dirty. Instead i recoiled. I was surprised i let myself stoop to that level. Not quite at their level yet but close. You see folks, anger does that to you. It just creeps in from this tiny voice, refusing to let go of its vise-like grip until you act on it.
So now i'm at a crossroad. Both have its own set of repercussions. Have you guys been there before? Where you have to make a tough yet NECESSARY decision? I'm upset because there are ALWAYS 2 sides to a story so unsurprisingly, mine's unheard of. However, i'd like to believe my parents brought me up pretty well. I have deep reservations about speaking ill truths about others. Those close to me will know this. I'm not vindictive. I don't believe in justifying my actions. Been there once. Twas maligned for witholding certain truths but like before, the truth will come out sooner or later. It's not up to me to decide when day that will be. But come out it did. Without me having even to utter a single word. Such is the GREATNESS of God. Such.
As i woke up to a new day this morning, i realised these diatribes have no power to bring me down. I may be upset,yes. But absolutely still standing. I certainly can't afford the time nor the exhausting emotions involved to get so worked up over this small matter. I have a wedding to plan for you know. :) So my apologies for this Alanis Morrisette-ish entry of mine. Just needed to let off a wee bit of steam. I'm better now. Much better.
I promise the next update will be the usual chipry one. LOL.
Ahhh, by the way i saw the MOST beautiful bouquet of tulips EVER.
All white and bundled in soft satin. Why oh why do we have hot & humid weather? The tulips will end up looking like overblown poppies instead.
Tak kesampaian harapan gue.
;P
haizZz
7:01:00 PM
I'm sensing some vibes. Surprising but not so surprising. Weird? Yeah, i know what you think. Well you can't jolly well please everyone. Especially those you're not too especially FOND of. Courtesy? Yes. I do think it's more of that than anything else. Why oh why do we try? But yet...Sadly, it's almost never recognised. Why do we even bother? Again i ask. I can never seem to answer that question. Why an effort but yet...
Oh well.Bad vibes, imagined or real is unsettling. But bubble's not burst yet. Still in dreamland. You win some, you lose some. Life's like that eh? Since dreamland is stuff made in fairy tales, i like being there. It's a matter of what/who YOU let affect you. Right? I'm beginning to love this phrase more and more with each passing day.
Joie de vivre.
Joy for life.
Beautiful ain't it? I'm sure you'd all agree.
:)
wonderful hen's night
12:55:00 PM
Thank you my lurvelies for the wonderful well-wishes. Yes, it's less than a month to go but yet...Alhamdullilah, no jitters. YET. Heh. So far, so good. Perhaps it's because of the bustling pace of these last few weeks that has kept us both occupied with no time to feel nerves. Once again i'll reiterate this, not YET. :)
But i must. I must absolutely write about this.
Last weekend, a couple of dear sweet things conspired to make this bride-to-be first hen's night a fantastically memorable one. It most certainly was. Twas a simple yet sweet affair which started when they kidnapped me from Naz at precisely 8.30p.m, giggling feverishly while presenting me with a single stalk of red rose and the all-important gift box. Then off they dragged me to Hyatt where we had a wonderful dinner with celebrity couple Pierre Png & Andrea De Cruz in attendance. I mean not at our dinner table of course but they were around, dining within our view. Trust me girls, Pierre isn't as thin as you see him on the telly. He's utterly scrumptious. *yum*. Dinner was filled with laughter, risque presents & of course more fevered giggles.
From Hyatt,on we went to see my other boyfriend. Heh. The one i didn't get to marry. *as if*. Mr John Molina himself. Or more fondly known within my circle as the yummylicious 'John John'. * sighs dreamily*. HaizZz John John, nasib baik la gue da nak kahwin, kalau tak...LOL. We had front row seats to watch him belt out those tunes in his smooth 'lemak-ish' voice courtesy of strings pulled.Keke, thank you God! ;p
But ladies, that wasn't just it. Apparently my party had other plans for the night. So there i was happily sitting & drooling incessantly at John John when suddenly i heard my name.
" Ladies & gentlemen, tonight we have a certain lady by the name of Farah celebrating her hen's night. Why don't you put your hands together and welcome her onstage?"
Oh my god! At that moment i froze. I swear if there was a hole, i'd jump straight into it. So amidst the din of clapping hands and whistling, i trotted to the stage. I pretended to be reluctant. Heh. In all actuality, i was sOo EXCITED. I mean come on, it's John John himself.
Strolling to John John who complete with an extended hand lifted me up & suddenly there i was. Up there on stage with the whole bar looking. He turned to me and said,
" I just want you to stand up here and look good while i sing something for you." That song turned out to be Hoobastank's The Reason. And it is at this point i shan't divulge further details as Mr Naz will probably end up reading this. Heh. Suffice to say, i was crooned to in the most yummylicious way with the whole club cheering John John on. Boy, was i in heaven. Girls, girls... if only i can tell you how it feels. It's almost like getting your first pair of Jimmy Choo or Manolo. Almost.
Thought that was the end of it until... Mr John John himself came over to our table. Shook my hand *drools* and congratulated me with a peck on the cheek. He cheekily joked, " Thank god your future husband isn't here. He'd have killed me." AwWwWww. I was in dreamland. Isn't that the SWEETEST thing? But baby, you know he's harmless. If you'd been around, God knows what would have happened.LOL.
But in all, it was a FABULOUS night. Wasn't just about me meeting John John up close & personal. It was more of a love fest. I've never felt more at home or more loved by my party. They were great. All unemployed but somehow managing to come up with something sOo memorable that i remain in awe. I don't mind not being 'well-known' or know people by the masses as long as i have these few people in my life, that's enough. I'm sure you guys know what i mean. *smiles*
That was it. My first hen's night. I can't believe it. I FINALLY had a hen's night. Amazing. From a commitment phobe to someone who's just about ready to get hitched. It's mind blowing. It's explosive BUT altogether touching. People i've loved over the years. People i'm loving now. Nothing like today to feel blessed. In fact,not just today but everyday.
Thank you.
:)